Agencygiri

The last resort

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Dadagiri. Bhaigiri. Gandhigiri. Annagiri etc

Keeping with the trends of the times, we have witnessed a sudden rise of the suffix ‘giri’, added nowadays to any sort of behavior that is unusual, with a certain attitude.

These revolts have been synonymous, with being cool and trendy. Further glorified by the Indian film fraternity.

It’s a zig when the world zags, action, by revolting and rebelling - with style.

So Gandhigiri was when the father of the nation, chose non-violence over violence.

Dadagiri was when a group of thugs, did the exact opposite.

Followed by Bhaigiri, because ‘Dada’, sounded a tad older and the younger crop needed a fresher and more evergreen title.

Bhaigiri was much more evolved. They had brand ambassadors, led by some top bollywood faces, their own lingo, a signature attire, a swagger and what not. Bhaigiri soon became a brand to reckon with. You have to know a few in your area to get your work done.

Then came the reincarnation of the Mahatma, with Annagiri.  A man who got his share of publicity. The masses and classes both loved him. Journalists were eating from his hands, which left him none to feed himself. 

Till he finally realised that the trick worked brilliantly to garner TRP’s, and for a change got the opposing parties to show that they agree with each other.

No matter yeh kaise ‘giri’, there always is something for marketers to learn, ponder, and take references from their case studies. After all, each of them had their briefs, researches, challenges, big ideas and flawless executions.

Each of them got footfalls, eyeballs which is every marketing assignment’s end objective.

What was common between all these ‘giris’?

Think Different

Gain Eyeballs, Footfalls

Embarrass the Target

Force action without forcing the target

Gandhigiri was all about thinking different, and they embarrassed the British, by not retaliating and the world took notice. Eventually winning freedom for the country.

Dada’s thought different again, and embarrassed the poor, by throwing their utensils out of the home, especially the ‘atta ka dabba’ which was full, no matter what the financial situation of the family. Making loud noises, enough to wake up the dead.

Bhai’s preferred to make a simple phone call to the rich and famous businessmen. Promptly covered on front pages, embarrassing them for their vulnerability, and finally giving in to their demands.

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Now, being in advertising, the thought of connecting with a few bhai’s must have occurred to most agencywalas also, once a while.

Why? You may ask.

Well it’s simple. Any kind of business, no matter what it is in, has one universal concern - Collections.

Collections, not like hafta, but your own money which needs to be paid as a remuneration for your services and products.

You slogged nights and weekends, sacrificed lunch and make-did with sandwiches for dinner. You managed to finally get the project done in the nick of time. You send the bill, feeling bad about the amount you estimated and negotiated for, realizing it was far less for the amount of time and effort it took.

Then suddenly…

The client is travelling.

Stuck in important meetings.

Phone is unreachable.

Extension is busy.

If they do ring, they refuse to accept your calls, and somehow mysteriously claim that the umpteen texts and reminder emails 'never reach' them.

To make matters worse, the new Point of Taxation Rules 2011 under Service Tax, require advertising agencies to pay the tax as soon as soon as the invoice is raised, irrespective of payment collection. This service tax must be paid within a stipulated time after providing service.

The nail in the coffin is the industry’s credit period norms that vary from 60 days to 90 days. If you have been in the business for even a small while, you will know that this means that they finally ‘look’ at your bill on the 90th day and point an error in the amount, or worse - Negotiate.

Which means on the day you were expecting the monies, all you get is a returned bill, and you’ve lost the service tax amount you paid well in advance!

Then the some unknown manager steps in, and points out that the accepted rate card is now changed. Accepted? Who accepted? A bunch of people who have no clue how the an advertising agency works? Comparing two agency strategies, and creative outputs, like they compare two photocopier vendors!

It's sad when a purchase manager calls the agency, and asks what is 'so different' in what they are offering, not understanding a clue of what the S of strategy means. Yet, has enough power to cut his bill by half.

Unfortunately, agencies have to survive in this industry. They have to deal with the same people, time and again, and if not him - his boss, his colleague, his neighbor  or maybe his assistant, who will one day become a client himself.

So the Bhai idea is ruled out, most of the times.

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Solution?

Agencies need to start their own rebel system- Agencygiri!

Advertising Agencies, need a more sustainable solution to collect their dues. My recommendation is an in-between road that has the assertiveness of Gandhigiri, and the aggressiveness of Bhaigiri. Yet is sophisticated and well thought of.

The Agencygiri Protest Fundamentals

Who. Where. Why. When. How.

Where?

We understand that we can’t reach their phones. Emails aren’t acknowledged. So the only option left is, go to their offices and meet them personally.

Unfortunately, their extensions just keep ringing, and if the receptionist does get through, they’ll keep us waiting endlessly. By chance, if they do come out and meet, they’ll be rushing or pretend to be rushing, from one meeting to another, and will casually tell you that they will call you that very evening. Yeah right!

But one thing is clear.

This is one place they can be contacted.

Who?

One would think that this is an obvious answer. Who are we targeting? We have to target the client, company, department or division at fault. But aren’t we doing exactly the same thing, and failing.

So we take a Rule No. 1 of giris - Dont Zig - Zag.

The uniqueness of Agencygiri starts with Who.

Most of our clients have nice elaborate reception areas. Frequently seen here are the client's valuable partners, their own clients, other business owners, traders, suppliers and vendors and many a times you might just spot a client you know from another company, who is now waiting for his interview call here.

So we target these guys, with nothing much to do here. Sitting and grabbing newspapers, their mobiles, simply staring at the receptionist, or reading the company values, out of sheer boredom. Or anything they can get their hands or eyes on.

These guys? Why?

Why?

Let me explain why.

The reception is the face of the company. It’s flashy, clean and quiet.

More like an attractive web banner, leading you to the virus inside.

Everyone comes to the office reception...

From potential candidates, to international delegates.

From secretaries, to signatories.

From the fresh chic interns, to the sales returns.

So visibility is guaranteed. 

Media Planners - take notice of the award winning product and promotion placement.

When?

Prime time is important.

Let’s catch them when the rush is maximum. Taking a cue from our predecessors- footfalls, eyeballs are important. Only then it’s got the potential of a succesful ‘giri’. 

So we target the morning hours. Right when everyone is trailing in the office.

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So here we are. At the client’s reception, early in the morning, targeting everyone but the client.

But what are we going to be doing here? Can someone please explain what are we going to do, or say? Simon go back???

Well Simon, please go back to your agency studio department, one day prior to the protest.

And here is the Big Idea.

How?

Get your own accounts department introduced to your creative department. 

They probably have never met.

Climax:

An office boy waits for the client to walk in the next morning, leisurely.

The boy tells the client, that the banner he asked for is ready.

Puzzled as he will be, his reaction will be – What banner?

Open our nice big banner, in the center of the reception.

Viola!

‘The enlarged pending bill printed to the size of 6 feet x 4 feet'

And then the boy wraps it up back in a jiffy, ensuring that none of the people waiting at the reception get a real good look, but the client gets a clear view of the enlarged bill with subject and amount. 

With a red status stamp, that reads - Overdue.

Oops, Sorry Sir, wrong artwork got printed, and walks away.

That’s Agencygiri.

Effects (and side effects):

Client calls (and he will), tell him it was a mistake. 

Clarify that it was a banner printed for the accounts team offsite training happening today, and it was sent to him because of some misunderstanding.

Apologize and promptly follow up for the payment status.

End the call using your best comic timing, saying you will send the large print, if he needs a copy.

Evil Laugh Huhehahahaha.

The client will rush to his desk and process your bill, no questions asked.

He might even appreciate that you didn’t escalate the issue by going to his boss, because he might realize that you could have.

Disclaimer:

This is a work of fiction. 

Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

No one was harmed during the writing or researching this blog.

We have never tried this. So positive results aren't guaranteed.

Stunts have to be performed by professionals. Don't try this at offices, unless guided by expert supervision.

But I hope, simply reading this will end the strife caused to any agency from this Chu***giri.

End Note:

Luckily we have a beautiful bunch of clients that have been built more on trust and relationship, where we don't ever need to resort to such tricks, and we simply call the client and tell them we are in need of the monies. That probably is the best way to sustain in business and keep your business afloat.

We also proudly say that, No vendor has tried it on us, and hopefully won't.

Forward the link, at your own risk. If it works for you, let me know. 

What's common between Destination and Designation?

Destination

In the early hours of the morning, a quiet group of friends gazed at the soft orange hue of the sky. The morning sun rose, scaring away the darkness of the night. At that moment, they decided that they too needed to rise, and break free from the darkness that envelops them. They needed to find and embrace joy.

Determined to achieve their blissful dream of Utopia, a land mentioned in innumerous holy scriptures, they set out on their journey with endless zeal and enthusiasm.

The land first kissed by the gentle rays of the sun. The endless humdrum clatter of the city drowned behind them as they headed into the forest with luggage heavy with essentials, and hearts light with hope.

Days passed as they crossed rapid streams, high mountains, treacherous valleys, and stormy weather.

Hopes gradually dwindled, as did the energy of their mind, body and souls. Soon, only few persevering friends were left with a journey still to continue.

Days later, paths were crossed with a sage dressed in orange, silently meditating and radiating in an ocean of monotone green. A sense of calm that was spread over the Sage as he opened his eyes and summoned the travellers over.

On hearing their story, the Sage calmly said that though their enthusiasm was admirable, it had clouded their line of vision and led them on the wrong path. In the excitement of reaching the destination, they had failed to see the signs that life had manifested as their guides.

Awakened, the travellers carried on their journey further in the direction that the Sage had directed them, with renewed enthusiasm. Soon, the signs and messages began to manifest.

The first night, a woman who saw one of them limping due to a fall, offered them riped mangoes and shelter, which helped them strive on at dawn, full of hope and strength.

At noon, a feeling of being lost started to shadow them. A man selling baskets met them and on hearing their story, drew them a map to a waterfall where it was said that the hearts strongest desires would come true. Exhausted by their struggle, the travellers stumbled down a trench as directed.

Suddenly, the whole world seemed to be thrown into chaos and everything vanished.

Then, a burst of bright white light thrust them onto their feet. On opening their eyes, they were bewildered at the marvels they saw. Pristine streams reflecting the wholesome bright moon, fireflies among the stars in the clear sky, the fragrance of flowers floating in the air, it was heaven.

Their Utopia.

At that moment, they thanked the guidance of the Sage, the help of the woman, and messages of the man, that helped them in achieving their hearts desire.

Designation

What is in it for you, when you read the story?

How does it help you in your life?

If these questions are on your mind, then read on further.

Each one of us in our professional lives, is given a designation.

If you look closely they each have a deeper meaning that just being a tag.

Analyse your designation, get to a deeper root of its meaning.

Being closer to Advertising, here is a small example...

The VISUALISERS are like the travellers with vision and dreams, high on enthusiasm, and efforts and never spared, but they cannot do this alone, they need help and guidance. They need to be shown the right path time and again, because the illusions of the journey can be misleading. Clarity of thought and message are essential.

The DIRECTOR directs us in the right direction, much like the experienced and wise Sage. The Director’s job is to show the way, more from a macro point of view. He has a larger vision in mind, for the company, the people, not just its brands and products, but also the end benefit on the whole.

The COPYWRITERS write clear messages and draw accurate maps, helping us reach our goal, same as the man who sold baskets. Same is the true for STRATEGISTS and PLANNERS. Keep people on the right path, in day to day operations, and the end result in mind. With loopholes checked, and threats covered, opportunities realised.

And the MANAGERS replenish our strengths, helping us exert and display our optimum best, just like the helpful woman. They manage the situation, help in operations, and assistance, to the on ground team

Without any of these building blocks of any organisation, success wouldn't be possible. It is only when all our efforts and strengths are amalgamated into one, does success prevail and an organisation reaches new and brilliant heights.

So the secret to the land of Utopia is to see the similarity between Designation and Destination.

Sit back a moment today, and reflect on your current designation, and the one you desire, someday...

PS: Thank you Takshama for help me put this thought in words.

A Miracle in the Meeting Room

An Unreal Story, That Happened to Me...

I have over three hundred powerpoint files on my laptop, which can roughly also mean that I have made the same number of presentations in the past eight years, plus minus a few that may have got lost, not been backed up, or missing for reasons that seem irrelevant today.

There are few things that I have almost got used to the routine of making these presentations.

1.

The drive to the client's office is usually a long one, sometimes catching up with emails, phone calls, ideations, small talk, but one thing doesn't change, traffic, and the impatience that comes along with it. 

2.

A standard template text message to the client informing about the duration of delay, expected arrival time, and an apology which in most cases I don't really mean from the bottom of my heart, but more of blame the infrastructure that our honest municipality offer us here in Mumbai.

3.

Thirdly, comes the irritating security at the gates, most of them untrained in basics of manners, mostly making you look like a hindrance in their lives, and almost giving you the feeling that your laptop is a ticking time bomb. 

4.

A register to mark your entry, with your name, company, mobile number, and some more details I have to give voluntarily. I wouldn't be surprised if they ask me my education qualification, underwear size, and other intricate and personal details. There always is a completely stupid form field, called Purpose, and its Official all the time, I can bet my life that if I write, Bombing, Mass killing, Data Theft and I'll happily be allowed to pass through. This is then followed with a leash around you neck, with a big black font of 72 point size, saying VISITOR.
So much for Atithi Dev Bhava. 

5.

Part 5, is a rude, or fake smiled receptionist, who will ask who you want to meet, but never dials to tell them you have arrived, which you then have to inform via your cellphone.  

6.

Then comes the "reception meditation" - Which is the endless silent wait for the client to finally have some pity on you lingering around.

7.

Followed by the hunt for a meeting room, after battling with others, which is no less than the Panipat Battle of the 18th century. 

8.

Finally you are in. A few handshakes, exchanging visiting cards, the treacherous long wait for the laptop to load, the projector to connect and Eureka! It's camera, lights, action!

Only this time the story takes a new turn.

An unexpected turn I would never ever forget in my whole life. Who knew?

So its the usual, loading the laptop, cards exchanged and a wait for a few more colleagues to join in. 

Small talk.

The man on the head of the conference table, is a senior, grey haired, jolly looking man, content with his position, and fairly senior in designation. His personality exhumed confidence and an aura of experience.  

My colleague is elated with his presence.

"It is an honor to have your presence in one of presentations Sir!"

He laughs at the compliment and doesn't accept it, humbly.

"I like this guy", I say to myself. Something nice about him.

The wait is a little longer than we expect. The man picks up my card out of lack of activity going around, and studies it...

"You know my first boss' surname was also Merchant, he tells me. We were in Indo Pharma, Biddle Sawyer and some other companies together." He says fondly almost slipping into nostalgia.

The companies he names sounded very familiar. I had heard them, and not because I work closely with the healthcare market, but for other reasons. I had heard these names in my childhood. These companies didn't exist anymore, and No! I wasn't an ardent reader of the newspaper then.

I am tempted to ask him, and for some reason I don't hesitate. 

An unusual question.

Sir, what was your first boss' name?

Yasin Merchant, he replies promptly.

I feel a huge surge of emotion. 

My ears feel the gush of blood. 

Adrenaline pumps.

Heart beats faster.

My excitement cannot be contained. 

My hands feel a tremble. 

I manage to mumble a sentence.

"That's my Dad"

Six people in the conference room. 

All turn their heads to me, unbelievably.

The gentleman verifies my statement. 

"You mean, Yasin Merchant, from Kemps Corner?" 

"The building which was near Cumballa Hill?"

"Tall, lean man who used to smoke?"

And I am just nodding my head in approval. Yes yes yes....

I stand up and shake hands with him again. This time it was different, not like a business handshake. It was on an emotional level, because words couldn't not explain 'our' excitement levels, and the entire room sensed it.

The gentleman, begins narrating anecdotes about my father. He recalls the times when he interacted with him. He starts with his personality, tall, dark, sharp, very good at his work, how he was mentored by him, how he was 'brewed' by him, my dad was his inspiration and how he was a big reason behind this man's success.

It is a five minute speech. 

In between the man's boss comes in, but that doesn't deter him from going on.

I am overwhelmed. I cannot contain my tears. I can almost feel my eyes moist. I quickly blink a couple of times and try to stop them. I manage to, with extreme difficulty. 

For a person like me, who can have tears rolling down my eyes for a flop movie, like Waqt, starring Amitabh and Akshay Kumar, this was a real story... MY dad's story, so you can imagine my plight.

The man wants to talk to my father, right there, right now. I quickly dial my landline, but since its noon, the phone just keeps ringing, with no one to receive it. I then dial my wife, and ask her to hand the phone over to dad. She tells me he is sleeping, but I tell her to wake him up, someone wants to speak to him. 

Surprised, she gently asks dad to wake up. 

Its urgent, she says.

The gentleman takes my phone and humbly, very humbly, introduces himself.

Boss? Boss!

(And this wasn't like the Boss you refer to someone to meet in the train or bus, who you want to ask for way, or someone you intend to push of at the next stop.)

Boss...as in your senior. Someone who you call fondly 'Boss', because he or she is someone you look upto, and sometimes you don't want to refer by name, out of sheer respect.

Boss? Its me. (Introduces himself by name) Pehchana?

Kaise ho? How are you? Long time sir?

All good?

Your son is in front of me, making a presentation.

Very happy to speak to you Sir!

Yes Sir! Aata hoon. Ill come and see you soon.

Of course Sir!

See you.

Bye Bye Bye!.....

I am handed over the phone. He is beaming with joy. 

I am confused. I am now really wondering if my dad could really place the guy. But one thing was for sure, this man respected my dad to the end of the world.

The tough part begins now.

I am to start my presentation. Most of the times, I am labelled as passionate, energetic, and dynamic in my presentations. But I am full of doubts this time....of myself. 

I was suddenly going to be measured against this huge mammoth of a man, who meant the world to someone I was presenting to, and the bar was set so high, that I knew I would never be able to meet that standard, forget beating it. I had to only ensure that I don't create the impression of being a loser, compared to the man I was being put against.

It was like Rocky Balboa and his son.

I manage to put up a decent show, the ideas are liked, a few are shortlisted, its seems like the mission has been accomplished of getting the assignment. I am not even considering the impression part. I cannot contest this competition, and I am ready to succumb to my defeat. The white flag is raised in that department.

Nope! This is not a case of "Haar ke bhi jeetne waley ko Baazigar kehte hain"

We all stand up to sign off for the day, and we get the parting speech.

"There is no doctor who didn't know him. When he entered their clinic, they would stand up and greet him. They knew him by first name."

"Merchantsaab bolne ka."

"Yasinbhai bolne ka."

"Even the directors of the company would never accept his resignation.They went to his home when he put in his papers, and didn't allow him to resign."

He wanted to say more...I could sense it. But he stopped himself, I guess he was getting emotional talking about his mentor. My dad. 

I manage to gather some words...

"Sir, I make presentations almost everyday. But today I was nervous for the first time, not because of anything else, but because my dad's name was at stake"

He laughs. "Don't worry. You did well."

I'm still dazed. The drive back is mostly in silence. I had lived a moment that probably will never come back to me again. No discussions on the outcome of the meeting. No talk on the future possibilities. Just about the utter coincidence.

Coincidence- is too small a word for this. 

Serendipity - too frivolous.

Miracle, is what I am talking about.

God's perfect timing. 

Truth is, the past few days were worrisome for me. I was worried about my dads health and overall well being. Anything remotely bad happens to him, and I am all nerves, and this was just one of those times when I needed a little hand holding to get me through.

Imagine something like this happening to you, and it reinstates your faith in God's grand plan for each one of us. I was filled with optimism, hope and love.

I don't go back to office. I rush home. I want to see my father, hug him, and tell him how proud I am. I run up to the lift. Open the door, but he isn't home. I am disappointed. 

After a few minutes he arrives, but in my head that moment was lost. How I hate myself for that.

We look at each other, smile and I am still excited. I call everyone in the living room and narrate the incident. My dad smiles proudly at my story. I somewhere guess that he  senses my emotion.

He narrates his side of the story. Only this time I listen differently.

These stories I had heard from him many a times. About his work, his interviews, how he trained his juniors, how he knew all the doctors of Mumbai, and how they knew him. How his boss wouldn't accept his resignation and how they had come home to convince him. How he was liked by his colleagues because of his deeds and another hundred stories.

But this time I heard it in a new light.

I wasn't hearing it from my dad. I was hearing it from one of the best sales officers in the world. 

My world, and that gentleman's world, and God knows how many peoples world who he had touched in more than one way.

For me he was till yesterday, a humble, fun loving, sometimes solemn and strict, generous, talkative man. 

But starting today he was a larger than life hero.

A man who's standard I would never be able to match. I can only pay ode to.

I know for sure that I wont ever be able to reach where he has reached...ever. And the truth is I don't want to even try. What I want to do, is learn from him, and continue his legacy of touching peoples lives, transforming them in my own way, and maybe someday...you never know....I can just barely, slightly aspire that Samaira will meet someone, someday who will tell her. 

"I knew your dad, nice guy"

That much also will be enough for me.

Thanks Dad! You always were my hero, but now you are bigger, better, stronger! 

This made me feel like going back to nursery and telling my friends..."My dad is so strong, so strong, so strong, that he can.......

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Love You Dad! You are an inspiration.