The 30 Second Lie!

Imagine...

After a hard day’s work, you finally manage to cuddle in your couch with a bowl of popcorn and get down to watching Fear Factor and just can't get enough of the stunts and babes.

Suddenly...

The Fear Factor Title flashes and you are now forcibly made to watch a “daad khaad khujli” television commercial.

That's the 30 second TVC for you.

The biggest lie in the world!

Your dandruff will clear in 3 washes. You skin shade will turn you from an African to European using this cream within 7 days. You will get the guts to jump off a mountain after drinking a cola and you will be a chic magnet after you spray this deodorant.

The TVC world is one full of exaggerations!!!

Everything has to be conveyed in 30 seconds and they want to persuade you to do weird things, like dress like Tom Cruise, prevent heart attacks, save the world from global warming, test drive the mileage of a car and then after all that....do the laundry.... Really well!

Some nuances never fail to make me think how they keep doing the same thing again and again, without questioning why!

A watch has to show the time as 10:10 (AM or PM, I don't know).

The toothpaste on the toothbrush always has this peculiar pillow like shape with a pointed end facing the top, slightly curved (you know what I'm talking about) ,weirdly, in the past 32 years of brushing my teeth, I have never managed to craft that shape.

The ice cream is always firm and freezing, chocolate will always be nice and melted. The soap bar is never half used in fact it never has lather around it also.

Ever noticed how a fried chip fresh from the pack will always be perfectly oval, laden with masala, and it always has to bounce out of the pack and the masala has to fly in the air, captured to perfect detail.

Now that's about the product. Let's get to the models that feature.

The housewife is 99% of the time dressed in her best, perfectly ironed clothes and makeup done, with eyeliner, lipstick and all her best jewellery, happily cooking in the kitchen...I just ask you to take a walk to your kitchen right now, and see the state of the person cooking, needless to say the state of the kitchen.

Picture a typical TVC where office executives are giving hi-fives to each other on winning a deal, and in reality I have never ever gone beyond a handshake after a successful win in business, in fact it’s always be subtle and understated and no matter what they do, I’m not going to behave the way they do.

Then again, looking at it naively.

I really wouldn’t mind if I could get up in the morning and shave like a six pack macho man, and have a hot woman come and caress my cheek and check the smoothness of my shave. I move on to my breakfast table, lavishly spread with cornflakes, orange juice and my entire khandaan waiting for me to kick start my day. I manage to catch my bus, which is a few scenes back, not only speeding but also an impossibly far distance, but thanks to my multivitamin, I jump into it applauded by all the friendly passengers who recognize me, like they seen me in my diapers.

My cell phone rings and I am offered a job in a Top MNC, suddenly the entire ambience around me magically morphs into a new world, where I’m about to sit in my luxury sedan (which mind you, gives me amazing mileage and also makes a bold statement), I’m travelling on the smoothest road in the country, with my dog’s head out of the window breathing fresh air.

My job is nothing but signing mega contracts, shaking hands with men who are lookalikes of Al Pacino and closing deals.

I come home to happy kids a gorgeous looking wife (who is extremely glad to see me home, no complaints whatsoever), I take out a diamond set for her which makes the entire city glow, irrespective of the power shedding, because I’m living in a luxury residence in the posh area in Mumbai overlooking the sea.

We leave for a party which is attended by the entire bollywood. They all acknowledge my presence and are all out to influence me to use the shampoo they use, anti ageing creams they endorse and help me try designer suits they also wear and swear by...

Suddenly...

The title flashes and Fear Factor is back.

Alas!